I got divorced in 2019 and it was such a terrible time. My life was shaken up completely and I didn’t know that I could be so strong.
I came to Melbourne 10 years ago from India, with my husband who I had just married. There were some challenges. I missed my family and settling into a new country was difficult, and wanted to lead a normal married life with my husband like any other married person.
I had an arranged marriage in India, in 2011 along with the families.
My parents were very much concerned about me settling so far to Australia, where I had no family member or friends, but my husband was an Australian citizen and I sometimes think some things were meant to be and coming here was like that.
My father has always been very protective and was always concerned about my health and well-being. But I always used to tell my parents that I am fine, so that they don’t get stress.
When I came here it was such a culture shock but I wanted to be confident in exploring this new place and culture.
Unfortunately, after a couple of years my marriage was not going well. I had several miscarriages before I had my baby. It was so physically and emotionally difficult. My husband wasn’t there for me. There were lots of quarrels, no emotional understanding. I wanted things to get better and I went to counselling. I never really had any friends or family to share things with.
My husband wasn’t emotionally available. I couldn’t talk about how I felt like I was compromising on the basic happiness of life and peace of mind.
I wanted to work out the marriage but eventually I decided if this is not working it is not good for me or my child. My child needs a happy and healthy environment.
I was depressed and I realised that there was so much missing from my marriage. I separated from my husband after seven years. It was the most difficult decision.
I was so completely unhappy. It’s still such a wound, I feel so much hurt that hasn’t healed.
It was so challenging. My child wasn’t even two and I was working and getting up at night and breastfeeding and doing it all on my own.
Sometimes people say I am so brave, but I know a lot of women are really strong, but they don’t think they are.
It’s been such a long journey. My parents gave me a lot of strength and confidence. I was somehow coming out of the unpleasent chapter of my life. I always used to feel positive after talking to my family in India, and wanted to go back and see my family, which was even more difficult due to the pandemic.
Then three months ago I came to know my father died of COVID-19.
The devastation in India has been terrible. My whole family in India were infected, but my mother got better and my brother got better. My father was hospitalised for many days as his condition was unstable, and was not able to get better.
He always said to me “I am here for you.” I am also sad for my son because he was getting father love from my father.
I needed a lot of support and the people around me made me strong. I work full-time as an accountant, and I also teach yoga and meditation. I want a partner but I want to wait until I am ready, and I want to wait for the right person. Until then I am happy to be alone.
I have been through some terrible times, but my advice to other women going through the same thing is to reach out and get help. Be aware of what is happening around you and when you need help.
There will always be challenges in life, but the journey of my life has come to a point where my inner strength is guiding me.
