Many mothers with kids sitting exams describe the experience as a ‘rollercoaster’. There are extreme highs when goals are met and study completed, terrible lows when confidence is dipped or the child is overwhelmed, and everything in between. Sometimes the shift in mental state can move in a matter of minutes!
Mums are on that rollercoaster too. It’s not always easy to know how to best support our kids through exam season, so here are some tips:
1: Teach the importance of taking a break. Even if it’s a five minute walk around the block, leaving their desk will help refresh their minds, improving the quality of their study when they return to it.
2: Be encouraging – but sometimes silent. Regular pep talks can really boost a child’s confidence, but too much can seem like additional pressure, and “You’re going to do amazingly!” can turn into “I have the expectation that you will do amazingly.” Read the room, and be encouraging only when you see it’s needed.
3: Sleep, food, and water. Healthy meals, enough sleep, and regular hydration can keep their minds sharp and their bodies able to handle the physical stress of exams.
4: Provide a quiet place for them to study. Trying to study when there is noise or activity can add stress to an already stressful period. If you can, set them up a desk in a quiet space. Alternatively, facilitate their ability to study at the local library.
5: Encourage them to ask for help. Not understanding something can lead to panic, so as soon as your child hits something they don’t get, encourage them to speak to a teacher, rather than stew on the problem.
6: Help them understand what will happen on the day. The unknown can be scary, and if it’s your child’s first exam, that can contribute to their anxiety. Explain what the room will look like, what they will be asked to do, and if you can, have a look at past exams together.
7: Debrief. After the first exam, sit with your child and listen to how it went. Hear their observations and their concerns without judgement and gently discuss how the next exam might be better managed.
…and this might be the most important tip of all!
8: Take care of yourself. Exams are team efforts between mothers and kids, and a team is only ever as strong as its weakest link. All of the above tips apply to you as well! Make sure you also eat well, stay hydrated, and get enough sleep; exercise and try to schedule in some quiet time; and seek help if you need it. Other mothers can be a great source of comfort and encouragement, and schools are often happy to provide tips and support to parents with kids going through exams.
And remember: while exams are important, they are not the only factor that play into happy and successful futures. Your child’s future does not rest entirely on the outcome of their exams. A mother’s love, however, is powerful – and you’ve got that in spades.
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