I know what it means to rebuild a life from zero.
I have three children, and more than anything, I want them to be happy. After everything they have been through over the past few years, I want them to feel safe, to believe in themselves again, and to grow up knowing that they deserve a life filled with stability, love and security.
A few years ago, our life looked very different. We were living with my ex-partner. I was working, we had a home, and life felt settled. Looking back, I think I believed we had everything we needed.
Then my world fell apart.
I experienced a heartbreaking miscarriage where I nearly lost my life. Not long afterwards, we lost our home. Suddenly, everything became uncertain, and I was the one trying to keep everything together. I was trying to keep life as normal as possible for my children while quietly trying to work out what came next.
Eventually, I found another home. But by then, the violence had become much worse. I knew I couldn’t keep living that way. I made the decision to ask my ex-partner to leave.
Making that decision was one of the most frightening things I have ever done, but in many ways it was also the moment I started taking my life back.
Leaving, however, didn’t mean the fear was over. It was the beginning of a very difficult period of domestic violence and instability. I had to give up my job so I could care for my children, and financially everything became incredibly difficult.
There were periods where we had nowhere safe to stay. Eventually, my children and I spent 13 days in a hotel, all of us sharing one room, before moving into a safe house for 3 months.
I remember how uncertain everything felt. I was trying to find somewhere affordable for us to live while also trying to keep my children feeling safe and loved.
I applied for more than 60 properties and was rejected again and again. Every rejection felt like another reminder that we were starting from nothing.
Eventually, I made the decision to leave the area we had been living in and start again somewhere new.
When we packed up, we had almost nothing. Our whole life was reduced to a handful of clothes and whatever I could fit into my little car. I rented our new home without even seeing it first because I couldn’t keep travelling back and forth while we were in the safe house.
The first home wasn’t what I had hoped for. It was difficult to live in, and there were problems that made an already overwhelming situation even harder.
Thankfully, eventually we were able to move somewhere quieter and safer.
And that home means more to me than I can really put into words.
It is my home. It is my children’s home. I have worked so hard to make it feel safe and peaceful. For the first time in a long time, we have somewhere that feels like ours.
But there is still a fear sitting quietly in the back of my mind that we could lose it.
I remember being told in the safe house, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
I have been pouring from an empty cup for a very long time.
I pay the rent as soon as I am paid. I put aside what I can for food and fuel. I don’t spend money on myself unless I absolutely have to. Most of the furniture in our home was gifted to us. I rely on food support when I need it.
There have been times when I have sat in front of people who were trying to help me and simply cried because I was so overwhelmed.
It is a different kind of desperation when you are trying to feed your children while also desperately trying to keep a roof over their heads.
There have been times I have wondered how I am supposed to keep getting up and doing it all again.
And then I look at my children.
Sometimes I stop what I’m doing just to watch them. I listen to them laughing. I watch them being silly and carefree. I see them in a home where there is no yelling, no fear and no walking on eggshells.And I remember why I keep going.
They deserve to grow up feeling safe. They deserve stability. They deserve to feel secure emotionally, physically and financially.
And so do I.
Single mothers can be so easily overlooked. Sometimes we are made to feel guilty for the circumstances we are trying desperately to survive. But every day we are doing everything we can to keep our children safe, housed and cared for, often with very little support.
People don’t always understand how hard it is to leave. It took me many attempts before I was finally able to get out and stay out.
Leaving isn’t the end of the struggle. For many women, it is the beginning of another fight — finding somewhere safe, finding somewhere affordable, keeping your children settled, trying to rebuild financially and navigating systems that can feel incredibly difficult when you are already exhausted.
It can be lonely. It can be terrifying.
But I am still here. And every day, I am trying to build something better for my children and for myself.
I don’t need a perfect life; just a safe one.
Because every child deserves a safe place to come home to. And every mother deserves the chance to rebuild without fear. That shouldn’t be too much to ask.
*name changed to protect privacy
Brooke’s* experience is one of many stories highlighting the challenges facing single mother families. This Victorian election, we’re calling on political leaders to take action. Add your name to our Open Letter and help ensure single mothers are seen, heard and prioritised this election.
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